HG and Loss

Everyone’s experience of baby loss is different but they all have one thing in common; Loss is devastating.

HG and Loss

Loss after HG can feel like a double dose of cruelty; to suffer so much and not have a baby to bring home at the end of it.

It can be hard to make sense of all the feelings you may be experiencing alongside the grief of losing a baby. Many people who experience HG and Loss feel isolated and alone in their suffering especially when friends and family find it difficult to talk about. We are here for you.

Our Specialist HG Counselling team are available to offer space and support to process all of your feelings about your experience, both HG and Loss.

Nothing can prepare you for the death of your baby, or take away the pain of the loss, but if you feel like you’d benefit from sharing your experience, we are here for you. Counselling is for you whether your baby died 1 week or 10 years ago, you don’t have to struggle alone.

Caroline Ridge, Counselling Manager

Ectopic Pregnancy

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

An Ectopic Pregnancy is when a baby begins to grow outside the uterus. It is not possible to move a foetus into the uterus and the pregnancy cannot survive.

It is important to seek urgent medical advice if you suspect you are experiencing an Ectopic pregnancy

Ectopic pregnancies are often identified at an early scan but there can be a long wait between identifying an Ectopic Pregnancy and the end of the pregnancy. Some women continue to feel sick during this time which can feel unfair. Ask your GP for antiemetics if this is the case. This period of waiting can feel frustrating as women may feel stuck and unable to move on.

Many women report they do not feel as sick with an Ectopic pregnancy although this is not true in every situation. There can be a paradox around hoping for pregnancy sickness as this may mean a viable pregnancy and dreading that you will suffer HG again

In some cases, Ectopic Pregnancies damage the fallopian tubes leading to fertility difficulties. This can add yet another layer of complexity to the possibility of future pregnancies in addition to the potential recurrence of HG.

COMMON FEELINGS & THOUGHTS

Disbelief
Shock
Relief that the sickness will end
Guilt that you wanted to sickness to end so maybe this is your fault
Frustration due to the period of waiting between identifying an Ectopic Pregnancy and it ending.
Anxiety around potential fertility issues
Worry that this may happen again in subsequent pregnancies
Fear that you may never complete your family

Remember our Counselling team are here for you. We understand HG and Loss. More information and support about Ectopic Pregnancy is also available from our charity partners.

Miscarriage

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

Miscarriage is the loss of a pregnancy or a baby up until 23 weeks gestation. Approximately 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage.

Miscarriage is the most common type of pregnancy loss. That doesn’t make it any less heartbreaking.

There are many myths and old wives’ tales about pregnancy sickness but sadly, suffering with HG is not a guarantee of a viable pregnancy. However, some women report they do not feel as sick with a pregnancy that ends in miscarriage but this is not true in all cases.

Even after a miscarriage has been confirmed, it is not uncommon to continue feeling nauseous for some time afterwards which may be because of pregnancy hormones still being present. Speak to your GP about continuing with antiemetics as long as they are needed.

It can feel hard to connect with being pregnant when you are suffering with HG and feel so unwelI, but after a miscarriage, as you start to feel less sick, it is possible you may connect more with the baby and feel the loss more deeply.

COMMON FEELINGS & THOUGHTS

Thoughts & feelings you may have after a miscarriage

Relief that the sickness has ended
Guilt that you wanted to sickness to end so maybe this is your fault
Feeling responsible for taking medication
“Here we go again” for those who have had recurrent miscarriages
Disappointment, heartache
A sense of failure or “not being very good at pregnancy”

Termination

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

Termination following an HG pregnancy is also known as Therapeutic Termination or Termination for Medical Reasons (TFMR).

For many HG sufferers, Termination isn’t a choice; it is the last resort.

Around 50% of those suffering HG consider Termination at some point due to the severity of their symptoms and the devastating impact HG can have on a sufferer’s life. However, Termination is still not talked about enough and remains a taboo subject in society leaving those affected by it feeling alone in their experience.

In some cases, the reason given for termination is recorded as ‘social’ rather than for ‘medical reasons’ as some medical professionals consider this term only refers to foetal anomolies. However, the medical needs of the mother can also be a reason for TFMR.

Termination is a Loss and women and their families need time to grieve and process their feelings around it. In addition, there may be mixed feelings about whether there will be another pregnancy and what life may look like after Loss.

Some women don’t feel better instantly and continue to have HG symptoms for weeks or even longer while the body recovers not only from the pregnancy but also from HG. Ask your GP for antiemetics if this is the case.

COMMON FEELINGS & THOUGHTS

Approximately 10% of HG pregnancies end in Termination

Why?

Women can’t face another HG pregnancy
Sufferers may feel too unwell to continue
The sufferer is unable to access the care and treatment they need
HG is putting the mother’s physical health at risk
The birthing person’s mental health is suffering because of HG
Termination feels like the last resort

Neonatal Death

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

Experiencing a neonatal death is extremely traumatic. Nothing can prepare you for it and it can feel difficult to talk about. Recovering from an HG pregnancy and birth at the same time as grieving for your baby can feel impossibly hard.

For some women, eating remains a significant challenge after giving birth. This can happen after months of HG and the food aversions that accompany it plus the physicality of grief causing a drop in appetite. If this is a problem for you, eating very small amounts can help. Reach out for support from the medical team if you are struggling.

COMMON FEELINGS & THOUGHTS

It’s ok to feel all of your feelings. These may include:

Grief and pain
Anger and disbelief
Shock and panic
Anxiety and numbness
Heartache and loneliness
Sadness and devastation
Relief and guilt

It can feel hard to cope with all these feelings. Ensure you reach out for support from friends and family when you need it.

Stillbirth

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

Stillbirth is the death of a baby before or during labour, after 24 weeks of pregnancy.

Losing a baby at any stage of pregnancy is devastating. It can feel particularly traumatic to have suffered for so long with HG, then go through labour but not have a baby to take home.

Grief can feel physical as well as emotional, making the post natal period exhausting while sufferers recover from HG and the birth alongside the grief of losing their baby. It is also important to recognise that everyone grieves differently; there is no right or wrong way to feel.

COMMON FEELINGS & THOUGHTS

Common Feelings after HG & Stillbirth

Disbelief, shock, despair
Feeling like the World is upside down
Guilt, shame, regret
Sadness, grief, anxiety
Distress at hearing other babies cry
Jealousy of other’s with their babies
A feeling of failure

Molar Pregnancy

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

A molar pregnancy is a conception where something goes wrong right at the beginning. There is abnormal overgrowth in the placenta.

It is common to feel more sick when experiencing a molar pregnancy

This can feel even more unfair as there is no baby at the end of it.

Molar pregnancies are an uncommon complication of pregnancy and are also known as ‘Trophoblastic disease’ and ‘hydatidiform mole’. It is common for an early scan to rule out molar pregnancy when presenting at hospital with HG symptoms.

The treatment for molar pregnancies is a form of Chemotherapy so there is a delay in being able to conceive again afterwards until your body is clear of the medication

COMMON FEELINGS & THOUGHTS

Common Feelings after a Molar Pregnancy

Disbelief
Relief – that the sickness has ended
Guilt – that you wanted to sickness to end
Frustration – The medication used to treat Molar pregnancies cannot be taken while trying to conceive

Here at Pregnancy Sickness Support we understand HG and loss. To enable our community to receive support from other support and charity services we have been working with our charity partners so they too can understand the complex nature of having suffered from Hyperemesis and experiencing baby loss. Please do reach out to our partners for further support.

“At Sands we understand that when someone experiences Hyperemesis Gravidarum during pregnancy it can leave both them and their family with lasting trauma.”

Sands Charity